Buster is upstairs in his room crying, I am downstairs crying because my heart is breaking for him. But I know I'm doing the right thing. James hit one of his friends today with a plastic skeleton leg (which now that I have written it down is pretty funny) and she got hurt and decided (like any sane person) that she didn't want to play with someone who hits his friends with plastic skeleton legs. Buster asked me why she went home. At this point I had two choices to make and about a split second within which to make it. I could 1) lie to save his feelings and pull the "I don't know" card or the "it was time for dinner" card or I could 2) tell the truth that she didn't want to play with him anymore because she hit him. Seeing that this would be a great parenting opportunity (if not stressful and tantrum inducing) I opted for choice #2.
Other parents might know where I'm coming from. Friends without kids might question why this was a hard decision. The last thing on Earth I want to do is cause my son harm, make him sad, or otherwise put him in a foul mood. I like my kid to be happy and go-lucky. But sometimes, we have to do the hard thing and realize that having our kid cry and having our kid be sad is sometimes good for them. Actions have consequences. This might be one of the hardest lessons for children to learn, but it's an important one. It may hurt both of us. I want to run upstairs and lick his wounds and tell him it's okay. But it's not okay. It's never okay to hit or hurt someone else. I have no doubt that a very difficult lesson was learned today and I have no doubt that ultimately he's going to be a better person for it.
I always scoffed as a child when my mom would say "this hurts me more than it hurts you" but now I get it. It really does.
